


island

by starstarstar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Apocalypse, Cheating, Established Relationship, Horror, Implied Sexual Content, Infidelity, M/M, Mentions of Death, Morally Ambiguous Character, One Shot, Other: See Story Notes, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstarstar/pseuds/starstarstar
Summary: In the middle of the forest, Lucas and Ten are secluded in their house away from a disease that's taken away most of the world's population.Then they decide to bring a stranger into their home.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	island

**Author's Note:**

> !!  
> \- please mind the tags  
> \- inspired by the film it comes at night. some scenes kind of follow it. if you’ve seen it you might recognize those parts.  
> \- will sound like it's referencing current real life events but the illness in this story is unrelated to that  
> \- animal death (the scene doesn't go into detail)  
> \- if there’s something you think i should tag, feel free to let me know  
> \- in the end notes you’ll find additional warnings and spoilers regarding the ending. if you need to, go look at that first. if you feel okay and don’t want to be spoiled, then don’t look at it. you can probably guess that this story isn’t all sunshine anyway  
> \- finally, thank you to my best bud L for all her help and encouragement as I spat this out and thanks for getting me into nct lol this story’s for you!

All Ten does nowadays is clean: each floor in the house, over and over, the same spots and corners. Ten never minded cleaning before, it’s something he enjoys doing and it relaxes him. Coming home to a clean house meant it was one less thing for him to worry about. But now he’s just cleaning because there isn’t much else to do.

There’s only one window in the bedroom, and just like the rest of them, it’s boarded up, except for a jagged edge that wasn’t cut properly. It’s not big enough for Ten to warrant telling Lucas about it. Not that he would. It’s the only way he can look outside on days where there’s no dire need to go out. He lines up one eye at the hole, nose pressed against the board, and looks. In the distance, there’s a gray outline of the mountains, and surrounding their home is the forest, everything full bloom, and bright green. It’s Spring again. That’s the only thing that’s changed outside.

Ten steps back and peers around the bedroom. He’s remade the bed several times even though no one sleeps in it. Books still line the small bookcase in the corner. Clothes occupy the closet and 6 photos are pinned to the wall. One of the photos shows himself when he was five-years-old and hugging a toddler, smiling.

It’s Spring again. The only thing that’s changed is the season.

Ten walks out of the room and shuts the door tight behind him.

“What do you think of Estonia, Bella?”

Ten’s curled up at the kitchen table, notebook opened with markers and stickers littering the table. He flips through an old stash of travel magazines and bends down to show Bella. The beagle sniffs at the glossy photos before licking his hand. Ten pets her fondly. She’s so cute.

“I know it’s out there,” he sighs as he cuts out a photo of Tallinn's Old Town, “but you know me. I like atypical stuff. And it’s my honeymoon so I can go anywhere.”

Bella grunts, and if Ten translates it, he’s certain she said, “But don’t you have to get married first to have a honeymoon?”

It’s true, but Ten likes to believe he and Lucas are already wedded. They were going to make it official, but then everything else happened.

Ten rubs the spot on his finger where a ring should fit. At one point, Ten was certain Lucas had wedding rings and hid them somewhere in the house. But Lucas never mentioned them and Ten guesses it’s not the most important thing right now. Although Lucas has said how one day he wants to give Ten the proper wedding he deserves.

Ten finishes up his spread for Estonia before flipping through previous pages full of possible destinations. He used to travel quite a bit when he was younger. He misses those days.

Guess he’ll keep on missing them.

He closes the notebook, cleans up his supplies, and then places the notebook back in the makeshift study room by the kitchen to blend in with all the other journals and reading books. When he wanders back into the living room, the loud thudding coming from behind the main door stops him. Another thud comes before the sound of jingling keys and the doorknob turning. Ten holds his breath.

Realistically, he knows it can be only one person, and that he and Lucas are the only ones with access to the keys. But Lucas is always so stern to remind Ten to be careful, that as heavily armed as the house is, there’s still always a chance someone can break in.

Ten doesn’t have a gun near him. He stares at the door and watches as it creaks open.

Lucas walks in and shuts the door, locking it behind him. He’s already taken his boots and jacket off in the hall, leaving his gas mask and gloves on until he places them on the end table by the door.

His hair sits like a wild nest on top of his head, and despite how flushed his face is and the dirt coating his chin, he’s still the most handsome man Ten’s ever known.

Lucas smiles at him and Ten wants to kiss him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Ten comes up closer and Lucas wavers like he wants to bend down and kiss him. But they have a routine to follow whenever they come in from doing deep work outside. “Everything good?”

“Yeah, I just finished fixing some traps, got some firewood,” Lucas explains. “I’m gonna clean up real quick, okay?”

Ten nods. “I’ll brew us something,” he says. They still have a few cases of coffee they take out sparingly. He blows Lucas a kiss and Lucas chuckles, blowing one back to Ten. Ten kind of misses the younger Lucas who was shy about displaying affection and would always blush easily.

As Lucas heads to the back toward the washroom, he still has attached to his back his rifle: an old but sturdy thing passed down from his war veteran dad. A lot of the guns in their home were half from Lucas’s family and half from what he had managed to take from the abandoned police station he used to work for.

Ten goes to clean the mask, then decides maybe they can start dinner early once Lucas’s done washing up.

“It’s kind of hard to be romantic with Bella snoring so loud,” Lucas says with a frown, narrowing his eyes at Bella who’s on the floor, curled up and sleeping. Ten snickers and settles more on Lucas’s lap, kissing his temple as he wraps his arms around Lucas’s neck. Ten sighs when Lucas’s hands circle his waist, almost coming full circle. Ten never realized how much he sometimes liked feeling small until he met Lucas. They haven’t been as intimate lately like they used to. When Lucas had initiated interest, Ten had jumped at it.

“It’s not the worst thing ever,” Ten says, cupping Lucas’s face. “Remember the first time we kissed? You were showing me some pop song while I was trying to confess to you and that song played the whole time we were making out and it _still_ haunts my dreams.”

Lucas huffs rather cutely, eyes shiny and focused only on Ten and he feels younger again. Ten loves him a lot, his giant baby.

“It was a good song,” Lucas argues, falling back onto the pillows when Ten pushes him down. “Ah, I was super oblivious back then.”

“Yeah,” Ten says, rolling his hips and smiling when Lucas’s eyes flutter shut. “Yeah, you were.”

When they’re done, and the lantern is turned off, Lucas falls asleep but Ten stays awake. His ears alternate between focusing on Bella’s snores or Lucas’s heartbeat. The smell of sex lingers heavily in the air, along with something else Ten can’t name.

It always takes him longer to fall asleep, so Ten does what he does best—-think. He thinks about everything that happened today and the same routine that will happen tomorrow. He thinks about the honeymoon locations in his notebook and what kind of wedding he and Lucas would have. He used to go back and forth between wanting something small or something extravagant.

Ten turns over, enough to loosen Lucas’s hold on him, and stares at the door. They don’t have a lot of things in their bedroom anymore, so there’s a large space separating their bed from the door. Weird shapes appear in Ten’s vision as his eyes try to adjust to the dark. He stares until the shapes make the door seem like its outline is shifting. Finally, Ten gets up, takes a lantern, and waits until he leaves the bedroom to turn it on.

He lingers in the hallway before making his way down to the spare bedroom. When he opens the door, the lantern shines on a figure lying on the bed.

Yangyang lies there, earbuds in, and humming along to a song. He takes out the buds and sits up when Ten comes into the room.

“Hey,” Yangyang greets, showing all his teeth when he smiles. “What’s up?”

Yangyang looks like himself, like how Ten remembers him. Ten lowers the lantern at his side until it hangs heavy and casts an eerie shadow across Yangyang’s face.

“Can’t sleep?” Yangyang asks, tilting his head. Ten’s eyes begin to burn and he realizes tears are gathering. “Wanna listen to music with me for a little bit?”

Ten presses the back of his hand against his eyes, breath shuddering. “Uh—yeah. Yeah, sure, let’s do that.”

When he opens his eyes again, Yangyang looks back at him with empty, black sockets. Skin ashened dark gray and pus dripping from the open sores on his face. Yangyang smiles and maggots spill from between his teeth.

“Ten!”

A deep gasp rips out of Ten as Lucas shakes him awake. He’s drenched in sweat, the pillow underneath him soaked, and he glances around as he realizes he never left their bedroom. Then he sees Lucas hovering above him, holding his rifle and lantern while Bella barks out in the hallway.

“Someone’s here,” Lucas says, pulling Ten up and handing him his gas mask and a handgun. Ten stares at the items, brain slow to catch up.

“Wait, I—“

“ _Come on,_ someone’s here!” Ten shuts up, gets his gear on, and quickly follows.

Ten holds back a growling Bella as they trail behind Lucas. When they reach downstairs and to the front door, Lucas pauses and holds his ear up to it. The front door doesn’t lead straight outside. There’s a long hallway lined with tarp to pass through before you reach the final door. It’s the only way in and out of the house.

Ten shushes Bella when she barks and Lucas opens the door, rifle aimed, as he slowly moves down the hall. Ten stays some paces behind, his gun ready. Out here the noise is more noticeable. Someone’s fiddling with the locks on the other door.

When Lucas is close to the end, he crouches and waits. He looks so calm while Ten feels like he might get sick, still distorted from his dream while also tensed that someone’s trying to break into their home. They’ve had to defend themselves from people before, but no one has yet to break into their home until now.

It’s been so long since they’ve had to use their bullets on a person.

The door rattles and Bella growls. There’s more shuffling before suddenly the door bursts open and Lucas fires his rifle.

Ten yells his name and runs over when Lucas gets up, going over to where he fired. Just as Ten comes, he spies a young man sprawled on the deck, gun in his hand, and a bullet hole next to him in the ground.

Lucas aims his rifle straight at the stranger and shouts at him to put his weapon down.

“I—I’m not trying to hurt anyone!” he exclaims, shaking as he tries to sit up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know—“

“Stay down and drop your weapon!” The stranger drops back down and, hesitantly, places his gun down before lifting his arms. He has no mask or gloves on, dressed only in a simple shirt and jeans.

Lucas nods at Ten without looking back. Ten quickly retrieves the gun, keeping his own pointed at the person. They lock eyes briefly before it goes back to Lucas.

Lucas studies the guy top to bottom. “Are you sick?” he asks and the person shakes his head. “Talk.”

“No. I’m, not. I’m not. I was just looking for shelter.”

“You have more people with you?”

“Ah, no, no. It’s just me.”

Bella barks, her nails scraping the floor like she wants to run out, and Ten nudges her to stop.

“Lay down on your back,” Lucas tells the stranger. His eyebrows pinch together and Ten glances curiously at Lucas too.

“I just—I’m sorry for trespassing,” the guy grovels. “You can keep my gun. Just please let me leave—“

“I won’t say it again. Get on your back.” A ball of tension tightens inside Ten at the sound of Lucas’s voice. It’s so different from how he sounded a few hours ago lying in bed with Ten.

The stranger slowly rolls onto his back, but this time he looks at Ten, and Ten’s hold on his gun wavers. “Please, let me—“

Suddenly, Lucas flips his rifle and brings the butt of it against the guy’s temple, knocking him out instantly.

Ten lowers his gun and comes closer as Lucas pulls the stranger up. “What are you doing?”

“Are your gloves on? Help me get him into the wheelbarrow,” Lucas says instead. He grabs a rope, duck tape, and a burlap bag hanging by the entrance while Ten retrieves the wheelbarrow outside.

“What are you doing?” Ten asks again after they drop the person into the wheelbarrow and they start pushing him.

“I’m gonna tie him to a tree and he’s gonna stay out here tonight.” His answers are cold, with no emotions in them, and Ten hates how it makes him feel. “He might be infected.”

In the moonlight, Ten spies a trail of blood on the stranger’s temple from where Lucas hit him. If not for that, Ten would think he was sleeping peacefully.

They take him a little ways off the property and tie him to a tree. Ten watches while Lucas makes sure the knots are secured enough before taping the stranger’s mouth and shoving the burlap bag on his head. Lucas eyes him for a moment and then picks up his rifle and lantern back up.

“Let’s go,” he says.

“That’s it?”

“We’ll figure out where to go from here in the morning.” He pauses briefly for Ten to catch up to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Maybe. Not really. Everything happened so fast that Ten is just now starting to catch up. What would have happened if that guy caught them while they were still sleeping? He acted like he had no harm, but maybe that’s only because he was caught.

It’s not until they’re stepping onto the porch that Ten realizes something else is wrong.

“Bella!” he yells, spinning around but seeing her nowhere. “Fuck, I forgot. Did she go back inside? Bella!”

She was right by Ten when they were in the house, but no dog comes running to them either from the house or the dark yard. Ten’s about to run around the yard and call for Bella again when Lucas stops him.

“We should go back inside.”

“Bella’s missing! She ran out while we were dealing with that guy!” He doesn’t mean to yell, he’s not trying to sound hysterical, but Bella’s gone, someone almost hurt them, and Yangyang—

“Hey.” Lucas touches Ten’s shoulder and tries to guide him back inside the house. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m sure Bella’s in the house and if not—it’s okay. You know how she sometimes likes to stay with the goats. We’ll look for her in the morning.”

Ten’s face is wet and he’s grateful the gas mask covers up his tears. “But . . . “

“We need to rest,” Lucas says, voice soft and much warmer than the attitude he had previously. “A lot’s happened. Let’s clean up, rest, and we’ll look for Bella first thing in the morning. Before we even deal with that intruder.”

Ten wants to find her right now, but he knows Lucas is right. He nods and lets himself be guided by Lucas.

They clean up and put their gear back into their room. Bella’s nowhere in the house, and for a moment Ten thinks to check the spare bedroom before realizing there’s no way she could have gotten in there with the door closed. He feels too on edge to visit the room again anyway.

Ten doesn’t sleep at all that night. Neither does Lucas.

They don’t find Bella.

They look first thing in the morning, double-checking the house just in case, and then spend the rest of the time searching around the property. She’s not hanging out with the goats or chickens or hiding underneath the truck. Ten tries to go deeper into the woods to search for her, but Lucas suggests he doesn’t.

“I think at this point we should just wait for her to come back,” he says. Ten doesn’t have the energy to argue back. They both know Bella has never run away before; even during the occasions where she would come along with them on excursions, she always stayed by their side. Ten doesn’t understand why she would suddenly wander off now.

“Okay,” Ten mumbles, but they both know if Bella were to come back right now, Lucas might not let her into the house just yet.

There’s no telling what she might get into out there.

“I’m gonna go ahead and fix up the door,” Lucas says, turning back toward the house.

“What about the guy?” Ten asks. “I thought we were gonna talk with him today.”

“I think it’s best we deal with him tomorrow, wait another day.” Lucas starts walking away, not looking back. “If he’s sick, we’ll definitely know by tomorrow.”

Ten frowns but doesn’t make a move to follow Lucas. “We’re just gonna leave him out like that another night?” Lucas doesn’t respond, just waves his hand in the air. Conversation over.

At that, Ten glances in the direction where the stranger is still tied up. The bag’s still over his head and the ropes are still secured around his body. Ten can’t tell if he’s awake or if he eventually died from the hit to his head. He’s not moving.

Last night was horrifying. Ten knows that the guy could have hurt them or, just as worse, be contagious. Still, Ten hates how wrong it all feels to just leave him out here in the elements like Lucas is hoping he’ll die from exposure before they have to do anything else.

The man’s legs shift in the dirt. His chest fills as he takes in a deep breath and Ten can see his head moving underneath the bag like he’s turning to look at Ten.

Ten stands there until the unease is too much, and then he hurries back inside the house.

At night, Ten stands on the porch, lantern in hand, and looks around. Still no Bella. The clouds are thick so the moonlight isn’t there to show Ten the stranger, but he’s certain the man is still glancing his way.

Back inside he makes a detour to the other bedroom just to confirm Bella isn’t there. The only thing inside is the perfectly made bed and the same group of photos. Ten stands there waiting but unsure of what he’s waiting for.

It’s not until Ten leaves that he realizes how cold the room was.

The first thing Lucas does when he pulls the bag off the stranger’s head is to show him his gun. Ten thinks it’s redundant since Lucas also has his rifle strapped to his back, and obviously, they have the upper hand. Lucas has always been the type to have to prove something.

The guy looks awful but he doesn’t look sick. Just skinny and dirty, with crusted blood on his forehead. He eyes the water jug Ten’s carrying, his tongue wetting cracked lips.

Another moment passes before Lucas takes off his mask and Ten follows suit. No one says anything for several seconds before Lucas speaks up.

“I think you already know we have questions,” he says, and the guy nods. “Tell me your name first.”

“H-Hendery. I’m sorry,” he answers, voice hoarse. Ten doesn’t think he would have lasted another night out here.

“I bet you are. Why’d you break into our house?”

“I was just looking for shelter, for supplies. And I thought no one was here ‘cause it looks abandoned. I wouldn’t have stopped here if I, if I'd known you were both here.” He glances at Ten then back at Lucas. “I’m not dumb, there’s only one of me, I wouldn’t have tried anything with you two.”

Lucas looms so heavily over Hendery that for a minute Ten thinks Lucas might just say _forget it_ and off Hendery instead. Lucas can be scary. When he’s like this, Ten feels like he doesn’t know him anymore.

Lucas continues with his questions. “Anyone with you?”

Hendery shakes his head, bangs flopping over his eyes. “No, no, I’ve been on the move since my family was killed by some scavengers. Months ago. I had a small camp some miles from here but I had to abandon it ‘cause I was running out of everything. Honest truth.”

“You made it this far without any trouble?” Ten questions and Hendery’s eyes flash like he’s surprised Ten spoke. Ten is, too. He usually lets Lucas do all the speaking for tense situations.

“Yeah,” Hendery says. “I’m more resilient than you might think.”

Lucas holds his hand out for the water and Ten hands it over. Hendery eyes the water like it’s made of precious gold, and with his situation, it probably is. Lucas doesn’t do anything with the water, and for a moment Ten thinks he’s just going to taunt Hendery with it, but then Lucas holds up the bottle to Hendery’s lips. Hendery chugs it down, making sure not one drop spills from his mouth.

Hendery gasps once he’s done, licking his mouth. “Thank you, thank you. I swear, I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I—I can help you, to make up for it. I can make myself useful.”

Lucas doesn’t respond. He takes Ten’s arm and moves them a few feet away from Hendery where he can’t hear them.

“I think maybe we should let him stay,” Ten blurts out, and to his surprise, Lucas doesn’t immediately look at him like he’s lost his mind.

He does scoff, however. “You want him to stay here?”

“He’s not sick. I really don’t think he means any harm, and I don’t think he’ll try anything since we have more advantage over him.” He peeks over Lucas’ shoulder to see Hendery just breathing calmly with his eyes closed. “. . . He could help us out like he said. Defend this place. You know how much easier things would be with three people instead of two?”

The last few words make Ten trip. Three people. If there were still three of them, would Ten be saying instead how much easier things would be with four?

Lucas takes Ten’s silence for him being done and speaks up. “Everything he’s saying could be a lie.”

“Well, how can we say for certain? It’s not like we can fact check him 100%.”

“You can’t trust people that easily.” Lucas straightens his posture like he’s trying to make himself bigger, even though he’s already taller than Ten. It irritates Ten and he finds himself balling his hands into tight fists.

Lucas is talking down to him. He thinks Ten isn’t being rational about the situation.

“We can’t just take in any stray,” Lucas goes on. “You need to think a little harder about this. You can’t be dumb about it.”

“I’m _not_ being dumb! Don’t call me dumb!” Ten yells and it cuts a jagged line through the moment, knocking them both off-kilter. If Hendery wasn’t paying attention before, he definitely is now.

Ten forces his hands to relax before his nails cut into his palm, but he still feels bothered, like he needs to break something. Calm down, calm down. You’re fine.

“I’m sorry,” Lucas says quietly, leaning his forehead toward Ten but not quite touching him. “I’m sorry, you’re not dumb. I didn’t mean to say that.”

Ten rubs his eyes even though there are no tears. He’s not going to be the emotional one. “He knows we live here and he knows how to get here. He can help us out. And I’m sorry, Lucas, but we’re not—I’m not gonna let us be one of those people who just kill for no reason because we can.”

A headache throbs in the center of Ten’s forehead and he curses. This is a lot he wasn’t expecting to have to deal with.

Lucas leans back and runs his hand through his hair, the greasy strands staying in the position he’s smoothed them into. “Okay.”

Oh. Ten wasn’t expecting that. “Okay?”

“We’ll take him in.” He doesn’t sound like he’s agreeing begrudgingly, but he also doesn’t sound too enthused. “But if he tries anything . . .”

“Okay.” Ten walks around him toward Hendery. “Let’s untie him then.”

They explain the conditions to Hendery and when Lucas frees him he drops to the ground, forehead to the dirt in a deep bow.

“Thank you, thank you so much. Truly. You won’t regret this.”

At first, it feels odd to have another person in the house, and the realization dampers Ten’s mood for a moment. It has been a while. It also doesn’t help that Hendery takes residence in the other bedroom. It’s the only other room left besides the attic, but that one’s used for storage, and Lucas didn’t feel comfortable having Hendery live above them. Ten eventually gets used to having Hendery in that room.

The first week and a half, Lucas makes sure to lock their bedroom door before they sleep and keeps the guns in plain sight, ready to go. Nothing ever happens.

Hendery does make himself useful and he does everything without complaint. He’s helped with repairs around the property, clean, gather food, and tend to the animals. He goes out on excursions with Lucas and Ten, cutting down the amount of time they have to be out.

Hendery’s also polite and always ready to talk to Ten about anything and everything. Ten didn’t realize how much he missed talking to someone who wasn’t a dog until Hendery came along. Not that Ten doesn’t like talking to Lucas, but there are some things Ten feels Lucas simply doesn’t get no matter how much Ten tries to explain.

Well, Ten did use to have someone other than Lucas and Bella to talk to.

That’s in the past now.

Three weeks into Hendery being in their home, he asks a question Ten’s surprised he hadn’t asked earlier. And part of him wishes he hadn’t.

“Ten? Can you come here for a minute?”

Ten finds Hendery in his room, sitting on the bed and staring at the photos on the wall. He looks up when Ten comes in, smiling, and it lights up his entire face. He looks pretty when he smiles. Ten wishes there was a non-awkward way to tell him that.

“I just have a question. Something I’ve been wondering about,” Hendery says as Ten sits down on the floor. He nods toward the photos on the wall. “I guess I just realized you haven’t told me anything about your family. You don’t have to answer if it’s too much.”

“No, it’s fine.” It is, it really is. “This picture here—those are my parents, and the toddler they’re holding is me. This was taken when they came to Thailand to get me.”

They’re posed in front of some building with Ten’s mom holding him while his dad stands beside her, hand around her waist. They both wore elated smiles.

“Get you?” Hendery asks.

“I was adopted.” Ten feels himself clam up, his mind repeatedly saying no, don’t bring him up. Don’t mention him. But who else is Ten going to talk to about him? Lucas always looks so worn out whenever Ten mentions his name now. He barely liked how much time Ten used to spend in this room.

“My brother was adopted, too, but he was a domestic one. His name’s Yangyang and that’s him in these photos. This is, was, his room.”

Hendery has a smile as he takes in all the photos like they have a new meaning now since Ten’s explained them. “I had a feeling this was someone else’s room.”

Ten chuckles, picking at the hem of his sleep shorts. “Isn’t it kind of obvious?”

It’s been three weeks, Ten should be used to Hendery now, but the way he looks at him always makes Ten feel like Hendery is seeing a lot more than just the surface. “I don’t mean like the photos or clothes and stuff. More like a . . . presence? An aura?”

“You feel an aura here?” Ten’s expression must look incredulous because a slight flush appears on Hendery’s neck.

“I know it sounds New Age-y or whatever, but yeah.” He turns back to the photos, moving his head closer to a more recent photo of Yangyang. It was taken two years ago. Yangyang was posing with Bella, holding her up while she licked his face.

Two years ago. It wasn’t that long ago. It wasn’t that long ago that Yangyang was sitting on his bed, talking to Ten, comforting him, telling him how things would be okay because the sickness wasn’t a major issue then. Ten is the oldest, but Yangyang was so much better at being the older brother.

“Hey, Ten.” Hendery touches his shoulder and Ten’s eyes fly open, not realizing they had been closed and stares back into Hendery’s. They’re the deepest brown they can be without being black and yet Ten can see himself reflected in them.

Hendery squeezes his shoulder, palm hot, and it warms Ten’s body like a heated blanket. His breath slows.

“Sorry,” Ten manages to say, trying to play off his reaction by laughing but Hendery doesn’t look amused. “Um.”

“You okay?” Hendery asks, and the words _of course! just had a weird moment there!_ sit on the edge of Ten’s tongue but his mouth scrunches up instead and he says, “No. Not really.”

Ten doesn’t cry but the amount of embarrassment he feels makes him want to. Hendery must be able to tell because he quickly slides down from the bed to sit beside Ten, nothing but concern on his face.

“Sorry,” Ten mumbles and presses his hands to his eyes to find he'd, unfortunately, started crying regardless.

“Why are you sorry?” Hendery has his hand on the floor, right between them, but he doesn’t touch Ten. They’re not there yet.

“I don’t know, isn’t this weird? I’m crying in front of you over something that’s—that’s,” he trails off, losing his thoughts.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. You can say whatever it is you need to say. I’ll listen.”

Hendery’s probably already guessed, but Ten might as well spell it out since he’s being a mess right now.

“My parents died in an accident years ago, so it was just me and my brother. And when this whole thing happened, he left university and moved out here with me and Lucas.” He doesn’t quite feel sick as he goes through his explanation. Ten feels outside of himself like he’s a stranger listening to someone else talk to Hendery. “Things were shit. They’re still shit, but when he was here things were more manageable and just, hopeful. Or felt like it. Lucas was fond of him, too.”

Having grown up an only child in a strict military family, Lucas loved Yangyang like the kid brother he had always wished for.

Ten’s sight goes up to the crack in the boarded-up window. “6 months ago, Yangyang went out on an excursion with Lucas. I didn’t go with them; I don’t remember why. I wished I had.”

Ever since then he’s wished he went with them. Maybe things would have ended up differently. At least Ten would have known for a fact what had happened.

“They were only supposed to be gone for an hour tops. Three hours passed before Lucas came home alone.” The window hadn’t been boarded up at the time, and Ten remembers looking out and seeing Lucas, face gray and ragged. “Some rogues shot at their truck, he said. They got into a scuffle . . . Lucas said one of the people looked sick. That they bit Yangyang before he and Yangyang got separated.”

Hendery waits for Ten to continue, but when he doesn’t, he frowns. “Wait, what happened after that?”

Months have passed and yet all the emotions from that day still rest inside Ten. Sometimes going doormat, but never vanishing completely.

Ten says, “That’s it. I yelled at Lucas so much that day. ‘What do you mean you don’t know where he went? Why didn’t you look for him more?’ We haven’t been able to find him, and he hasn’t come back. So I just have to sit here and assume he’s dead.”

Dead. If the sickness doesn’t kill you, then the desperate rogues will kill you to steal the clothes off your body.

Everyone Ten has known is gone. He only has Lucas now. His vision burns and blurs, but he doesn’t let any more tears fall.

“I don’t know what to say,” Hendery says softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Ten closes his eyes and just breathes. He’s back in his body now; can feel all his nerves and how his heart thumps against his ribcage. There’s more he wants to admit like how angry he was at Lucas and himself. However, since then there’s been this odd line between them. Some days it’s not as noticeable, but when Ten gets too deep into his head, that’s all he can see.

He holds himself back. He’s already said so much, something he hasn’t been able to tell anyone, and he’s exhausted. Maybe later. He thinks he can do that.

“Do you mind telling me about your family?” Ten asks. Hendery looks a little stunned, but he nods regardless. “I don’t think you’ve mentioned much about them beyond that they passed away a while ago.”

Hendery explains how his family had immigrated to Taiwan three years ago. It was him, his parents, and three older sisters. Later on, they relocated to Tainan a few months before all cities closed off their roads from one another. When Tainan was deemed to be in the unlucky red zone, they tried to leave, thinking they’d have a better chance elsewhere. Hendery ended up being the only survivor in his family and he’s been wandering ever since.

“I wasn’t originally gonna come here to Kaohsiung,” Hendery says, tapping his thumbs against his knees. “I convinced myself I needed to go back to Tainan or try to get to Taipei. I heard rumors about Sanctuaries at those places.”

At Ten’s confused face, Hendery just waves his statement off. “Don’t think too hard about it. Supposedly there are groups of survivors—no rogues or affected—who are trying to rebuild society and combat the sickness. But we all know that’s a fairy tale.”

“Yeah,” Ten mumbles, despite how intriguing the story is. If it was a year, almost two years ago, Ten might have believed it whole-heartedly. However, Hendery’s right. Society’s too far gone now. It’s too late.

Ten is about to ask something else when Hendery says, “Thank you. For listening.”

“Me? I should be thanking you for listening.” It’s true. Hendery’s not obligated to sit here and listen to how low Ten usually is. It’s weird and Ten doesn’t understand why, but when Hendery smiles at him, it feels the same as if he was hugging him.

“Well, thank you for trusting me.”

“You and Hendery are close.”

It’s late at night and they still have their lantern on because Ten’s reading an old, favorite book of his. Lucas found it at an abandoned house a long time ago. Despite how often he’s read it, Ten is so absorbed in it he almost doesn’t catch what Lucas said.

He places the book down and looks over at Lucas who’s lying beside him, gazing at the ceiling.

“Huh?”

The little huff Lucas gives sets Ten on edge. “I said you and Hendery are close.”

“Oh.” What’s that supposed to mean? “Uh, he’s been with us for a while now. I’m about as comfortable with him as you are.”

Ten doesn’t mean to lie—both he and Lucas know it’s a fib—but it feels too much to outright agree with Lucas. He knows he’s way closer with Hendery than Lucas is; however, Ten doesn’t see a problem with it.

Since that day Ten opened up about Yangyang, he’s felt freer to admit more things to Hendery—even stuff he’s kept from Lucas. For a while, he felt guilty over it, but now Ten just accepts it. He likes talking with Hendery and likes the attention Hendery gives him.

Ten closes his book, sets it on the nightstand, and reaches over to turn the lantern off. Then he scoots down until he can rest his head comfortably on Lucas’s chest and wrap his arms around him.

“It’s been a long day, yeah?” Ten says, circling his thumb into Lucas’s hip. “How are you? You’ve looked kinda stressed lately.”

Maybe stressed is an understatement. Ten has noticed how much quieter than normal Lucas has been. He spends more time outside doing who knows what. Ten caught him one day digging into the ground pass the tree line. For a horrifying moment, Ten thought Lucas was burying Bella and hadn’t told him he found her. When confronted, Lucas claimed it was for setting a trap and was frustrated Ten had implied something else. Ten hasn’t brought it up since.

He’s sometimes short with Ten, but he immediately apologizes, so Ten hasn’t looked too deeply into it. He’s just assumed Lucas was still getting used to having Hendery around. He can’t blame him. Lucas has always taken a long time to trust people he didn’t know.

While their intimacy with each other was already inconsistent, now it’s merely nonexistent. Ten isn’t going to push Lucas about it, but it’s still odd, and part of Ten worries if Lucas doesn’t find him attractive anymore.

The world has gone to crap and the one thing Ten can worry about is why his significant other won’t have sex with him.

Guilt settles down on Ten. He isn’t being entirely fair. He hasn’t been as attentive to Lucas either.

“I’m okay,” Lucas says after a long stretch of silence. He moves his hand onto Ten’s waist. “You should get some sleep.”

Ten’s torn between coaxing Lucas to talk more and not wanting to upset him. It’s late. He can try again tomorrow.

“Okay,” Ten sighs, kissing Lucas’s sternum. “I love you.”

He tries not to fixate on how long it takes Lucas to say it back.

“I love you, too.”

Ten wakes up in a cold sweat and his clothes clinging uncomfortably to his skin. He throws the covers off his body, fully intending to go back to sleep, but when he reaches his arm out for Lucas he feels his side of the bed empty.

He could be downstairs getting water. Given how weird he’s been, Ten debates for a few minutes whether he should assume things are okay or go check on Lucas. Ten decides to get up and turn on his lantern. Lucas’s lantern is gone.

Ten gets up and makes his way into the hallway. He sees the door to Hendery’s room is cracked open, a sliver of light spilling out. He can’t figure out why Lucas would be there but decides to check there first.

Ten knocks on the door before slowly opening it further. “Hendery? Lucas?”

Hendery’s sitting up in bed, staring at the photos, but turns his attention to Ten when he walks in. He looks wide awake like he’s been up for hours.

“Hey, sorry to bother you,” Ten says. “Just wondering if you’ve seen Lucas.”

“Oh, yeah. I ran into him in the hallway ‘cause I heard a lot of noise. He said he was heading to the outhouse. Told me I didn’t have to come, and that he didn’t want to wake you ‘cause you looked too peaceful.”

Any other time Ten’s face would have reddened, but all he can think of is how odd it sounds. They never went outside at night unless necessary. Even then, Lucas was strict about everyone going in pairs. Regardless of Lucas’s lukewarm attitude toward Hendery, it didn’t quite make sense for him to decline them heading out together.

“Oh. Okay.” The outhouse was close by and Ten knows for a fact Lucas probably took a gun or rifle with him, at least. If he couldn’t bother to wake up Ten, then he must have truly thought it’d be okay. He tends to make exceptions to rules when it’s regarding himself. “Everything okay with you then?”

“Mm, yeah, just can’t sleep. I’ve been up for a while.”

Ten’s wondering if he should leave Hendery in peace or keep him company for a bit when Hendery decides for him. There’s a slight blush across the bridge of his nose when Hendery asks, “If you’re not too tired, do you mind staying here until Lucas comes back up?”

It can’t hurt to sit here for a moment. If Lucas doesn’t come back within 5 minutes, then Ten will look for him.

“Sure, I don’t mind.”

Hendery scoots over so Ten can sit on the bed instead of the floor. The bed’s an average twin size and there’s a hand length of space between them. Ten doesn’t think too much about it and leans his head back on the wall, sighing.

“I don’t often sleep well at night, either,” Ten says. “You’d think with the way things are now, you wouldn’t have a lot to think about anymore. But that’s not true. I still have too many thoughts.”

Hendery chuckles, shifting his legs so they’re cross-legged. His knee presses into Ten’s thigh but neither one of them moves. “Same. I don’t know, I was just thinking about everything that’s happened so far and all the things I had wanted to do.”

Ten tilts his head so he’s looking at Hendery, whose attention is directed at his own lap. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. I had plans to go to school overseas to study music and piano. I liked singing so I wanted to be a vocalist, too.”

“I didn’t know you were a singer!”

Hendery grins cheekily and Ten’s face warms. “You’ve never asked.”

“I think my old guitar is still here, in the attic somewhere,” Ten says. “I haven’t played it in forever because Lucas thinks the noise might be too much, but . . . If I can, you wanna sing something while I play?”

The light shining in Hendery’s eyes matches a star in the sky. “Yeah, that would be cool .”

Ten thinks the last time he was able to play his guitar was shortly before the incident with Yangyang. They had managed to convince Lucas to let them play it for a short while and it was so nice. Yangyang had been so happy.

“What were you doing before all this?” Hendery asks.

It feels so long ago that Ten has to think about it for a moment. “Not much. Just living life, I guess. I had an office job and Lucas had just gotten promoted to chief of police. I was helping my brother through college while Lucas and I were also trying to save up for a wedding.”

The look on Hendery’s face is so comical it makes Ten wheeze. “What?”

“Lucas referred to you as his husband one day while we were talking, so I kinda assumed you two were already married or something,” he admits sheepishly.

“Nah, neither one of us has even proposed yet.” It sounds kind of silly saying it out loud. “We’ve been together for so long, and marriage was something we agreed on wanting to do eventually. We were gonna have the wedding in Hong Kong since all of Lucas’s family is there, and the only family I had here was Yangyang. I think Lucas was going to propose at some point, and I’m pretty sure he has the rings, but nothing came of it, and now here we are.”

Sometimes, Ten wonders if at some point Lucas stopped wanting to get married to him, and only stuck around because of their current situation. He questions why they just don’t do it so it won’t be another thing the sickness took away. They can’t get it officiated anywhere, but the government's dead so who cares?

Maybe it doesn’t matter in general, since either one of them can drop dead at any point.

“I’m sorry,” Hendery says, sounding sincere like it’s his fault.

“What’re you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.”

“No, but I’m sorry that all got taken away from you. I bet you would’ve looked really beautiful on your wedding day.”

Ten hates how big his eyes widen and the sudden heat that rushes straight through him. “Ah.”

Hendery doesn’t look ashamed at all; completely calm with a slight smile, staring at Ten like it’s _their_ wedding he’s discussing. “All white suits you. And if your hair’s the length it is now, you’d look so good with soft waves.” He brings up his hand and without hesitation, brushes Ten’s bangs back and then drags his fingers across Ten’s ear. He keeps it there. “Maybe wear a flower crown if you’d like. Yeah, I think that’d be a perfect look for you.”

Hendery tries to let his hand fall but Ten catches it, fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist. They keep each other’s gazes, Hendery’s nowhere near frazzled like Ten’s is. What does he even say in a situation like this? Thank you, that’s not appropriate, tell me more, do you really think I’m beautiful?

Ten blinks and it’s Hendery who’s holding his wrist instead. If Hendery tightens his grip just some he can feel how fast Ten’s pulse moves. The space between them is gone, their hips flushed together, and it’s bad.

Ten should feel horrible, and yet, all he can realize is how much he’s wanted Hendery to touch him just once. If he doesn’t think about it he won’t feel guilty. If he doesn’t think about it, things will happen naturally. Hendery leans forward and Ten doesn’t stop him.

A door slams somewhere and Ten jumps out of bed, almost crashing into the end table and knocking both lanterns down.

“I—fuck—sorry, I gotta,” he stumbles and grabs his lantern. “I’m sorry, good night.” He doesn’t look back at Hendery and rushes out of the room, shutting it firmly behind him.

His heart rattles against his ribcage to the point Ten wants to throw up. Oh god, what was that? What’s wrong with him?

He goes to his bedroom only to backtrack out when he sees Lucas is still absent. It must have been the front door that slammed, so Lucas is probably downstairs. That means he hadn’t heard their conversation or saw anything.

When Ten goes downstairs he sees both entry doors are wide opened and all the blood drains from his body.

“Lucas?” he calls meekly, glancing around. He’s not inside. A cold breeze travels from outside.

Ten doesn’t consider grabbing his mask or gun, just slips into the boots by the door, goes down the hall, and heads outside. His lantern catches Lucas with his rifle pointed at the woods.

Apprehension hangs thickly off Ten and his knees nearly lock up to prevent him from walking, but he pushes himself to head toward Lucas.

“Lucas, hey,” he says gently as to not surprise him. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Lucas lowers his rifle but he doesn’t turn around. “I thought I heard something.”

Ten looks around as if he might spy something Lucas hadn’t. The sky’s clear and the moon and stars are bright, but they do nothing to soften how dark and guarded the forest is. When they first moved here to get away from what was happening in the inner city, Ten loved how beautiful the forest looked. Now he hates looking at it at night. It always looks terrifying.

“How long have you been out here?” Ten asks. “I woke up and you weren’t there. Why didn’t you wake me?”

Finally, Lucas turns around and he’s smiling but it doesn’t reach anywhere. His eyes blend into the forest and Ten finds himself stepping back.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. It was just a false alarm.” He touches Ten’s arm and dryly laughs at the confusion on Ten’s face. “What’s wrong? Did you fuck Hendery while I was out?”

Ten jerks his arm back as an icy coldness rushes down his spine. “W-what?”

Lucas frowns, some color coming back into his face along with concern. “I said are you ready to go back to bed?”

That’s not what he said. That’s not what Ten heard at all. “Y-you did?”

“Yes, I did. Are you okay?”

Ten stares at Lucas, waiting for the reveal to drop, for Lucas to admit he saw and heard anything. The only thing that happens is Lucas looking more worried. “Ten, what’s wrong?”

“I.” His tongue feels too large for his mouth and his brain is about to spill out. “I don’t know. Sorry, let’s head back.”

Ten feels so guilty he’s hearing things.

But not guilty enough to say anything.

When they head upstairs, Ten sees the light in Hendery’s room is out.

The next day, Hendery acts as nothing happened and Lucas doesn’t bring up why he was outside. Ten goes along with it because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Over the next few days, Lucas continues to act hot and cold toward Ten. One moment he’s affectionate toward Ten and engaging with him like normal, then the very next second he’s distant. He’s still messing around outside, staring at the forest, and giving Ten short answers or avoiding questions entirely. He’s not speaking up about something. Ten can’t figure out what’s wrong.

Hendery is Hendery. He doesn’t treat Ten any differently except he gazes at Ten a little longer now, even when Lucas is right there sometimes. Or maybe that’s just Ten exaggerating. Maybe he’s the one who’s staring more.

Ten tries not to think about that night. He tries so hard to the point it’s difficult to concentrate on other stuff. It gets to the point where Ten’s dreams are affected. In every dream about Hendery, they kiss and kiss until it escalates to something more.

Sometimes he dreams about a wedding day with Hendery.

Ten’s so used to having sporadic nightmares about Yangyang dying or Lucas abandoning him that having dreams about Hendery makes him dizzy but it feels simply good.

(It feels great. He feels guilty, but it’s so nice.)

In the morning, when the dreams are over, Ten swallows down the shame, wipes the sweat off his brow, and hugs Lucas close to him.

“Um.”

Ten finds Hendery standing awkwardly in the kitchen. He’s holding a pair of scissors and asks if either he or Lucas can help cut his hair.

“It’s too annoying for me to always tie up and whenever I have to chop wood it just keeps getting in my eyes,” Hendery says, brushing at his bangs to prove his point.

“Lucas is busy but I can do it. It’s no problem.” They’ve moved past the awkward stage of what Almost Happened—at least, Ten finally did—and conversations between them are now normal. Hendery smiles brightly at him and thanks him.

They station themselves at the table and Ten wraps an old towel around Hendery’s shoulders to help catch most of the hair. His fingers brush his shoulders and Ten ignores the giddiness that surges through him. “How short you want it?”

“At least above my ears, if you can. Thank you.”

“Mhm. I usually cut Lucas’s hair and used to do Yangyang’s all the time.” It’s not necessary but Ten fluffs his fingers through Hendery’s hair just because. He must have washed it the day before. Ten can sense Hendery is smiling. “Wanna know something funny? There was a short moment where I thought about being a hairstylist.”

“Seriously?” Hendery crans his head back to look at him, but then Ten tilts him forward again, hands lingering on his jaw longer than it should.

“Ha, yeah. I was pretty good at doing hair and I thought it’d be cool to be a personal hairstylist for an idol group or something.”

“They would’ve been so lucky.” Ten grins and gets to work. He’s helping Hendery out. This isn’t anything to feel weird about.

Ten takes his time sectioning and cutting Hendery’s hair, making sure it frames his face nicely. His eyes look bigger now that they’re not being hidden.

Ten’s just about done when he nicks his finger on the scissors and curses sharply enough that Hendery turns around.

“What—oh, you’re bleeding!”

“It's just a nick,” Ten tries to say, but then Hendery takes his wrist, looks him in the eye, and slides his finger into his mouth, tongue lapping up the blood.

Ten drops the scissors.

“O-oh.” Ten stands there, mouth hanging open, as Hendery continues to slowly lick him.

This is gross, Lucas can come back at any moment, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Push him away! Push him away!

The warmth of Hendery’s mouth travels up Ten’s arm and spreads throughout his body. When Hendery lets go of Ten to stand up, towel and cut up hair falling to the floor, Ten doesn’t move. A noise dies in his throat as Hendery cradles his cheeks, face so much closer and his nose almost touching Ten’s.

“Are you nervous?” Hendery asks.

Ten shakes his head, says, “No.” His face reddens when Hendery bites his lip.

“Good,” Hendery says, and then he kisses Ten.

The first contact is soft, and then with the second kiss, he presses firmer, tongue swiping Ten’s bottom lip. A light goes off inside Ten’s head and he slides his arms around Hendery’s neck, kissing back. He can feel Hendery grinning into the kiss.

There’s nothing in the kitchen to hide them if Lucas wanders in. Everything’s on full display as Hendery lifts Ten and lays him down on top of the table. Shoving Ten’s shirt up over his chest, Hendery pours hot kisses on his stomach and Ten wants more. He doesn’t hold back his whines as Hendery mouths further down and he touches him harder, breaks him down more. Ten’s skin sticks to the table like it’s melting and his brain fully shuts down.

You’re a terrible person, Ten.

“What happened to him? Did you do something?”

“What? No! Wha, I—he was cutting my hair and just, I don’t know, he started saying how hot he was.”

Ten wakes up on the couch, body sore and so hot his hair is damp and sticking to his forehead. His eyes find Hendery first, put together like he and Ten hadn’t done anything, and then he finds Lucas. Ten’s head spins when he tries to sit up and Lucas crouches beside him and guides him to lay down again.

“Take it easy. How do you feel?” Lucas asks. He doesn’t look angry, only concerned. Did he not catch them?

Hendery must have left at some point because he soon comes back with a jug of water. Lucas holds it to Ten’s lips so he can drink and the liquid soothes his throat.

“Hendery says you started mumbling about how warm you felt and then you suddenly collapsed,” Lucas explains, eyes looking over Ten’s body repeatedly like he’s checking for any hidden injuries.

Ten can’t remember anything past Hendery touching him. When he looks at him Hendery merely offers him a smile.

“I don’t remember,” Ten says, but there’s no way what he and Hendery did was made up. He didn’t imagine that.

Why can’t he remember what else happened?

Lucas gnaws on the inside of his cheek, eyes suddenly forlorn, and Ten realizes.

“I’m not—I’m not sick,” Ten chokes out. “I’m not.”

“I know. I didn’t say you were.”

“Okay.” Without notice, tears spring up in Ten’s eyes. “Don’t look at me like that then.”

“I’m _not_. I’m just worried. Here, I’ll take you to bed. You need to rest.” Lucas cradles Ten in his arms and they make their way to the stairs.

As they ascend, Ten looks over Lucas’s shoulder and catches Hendery’s eyes.

Hendery keeps his gaze until they’re out of sight, but the whole time Ten can’t read his expression.

The moment Lucas puts Ten to bed he passes out. He doesn’t know how many hours go by, but when he wakes up again the room’s completely dark and silent. He feels around only to shoot up when he realizes he’s not in his and Lucas’ bed. Reaching for the lantern, he turns it on to reveal he’s in Hendery’s room.

No, no, Lucas had taken him to their room. How did Ten end up here?

He goes out into the hallway and stands there wavering. Their bedroom door is closed. He’s about to head there when he passes by the stairwell and stops.

He hears scratching.

Even though he can’t see any light downstairs, his first thought is to assume Hendery or Lucas are in the kitchen or doing something in the living room. He travels down, one step at a time like he doesn’t want anyone to hear him. He reaches the last step and sees no one. The scratching continues and he follows it to the front door. Ten hovers his ear over the door, his breath slowing down as he listens.

Something throws itself against the door and the shock causes Ten to fling himself back. He nearly trips over his feet as he sprints up the stairs and bursts into his room. Behind him, he distantly hears the sound of another door opening.

“Lucas!” he yells, and the sleeping man jars awake. “Lucas, someone’s here!”

Lucas curses and scrambles to grab his rifle and to hand Ten a gun. Hendery appears at their door, rubbing his eyes as he yawns. Ten stares wide-eyed at him.

“What’s going on?” he asks, grunting when Lucas shoves a lantern at him and rushes out the door.

“Someone’s here,” Lucas answers, and Hendery stiffens, now fully awake.

They all follow Lucas to the entrance and he waits, rifle focused on the door with Ten doing the same with his gun. A few seconds go by and then Lucas throws the door open. There’s a trail of blood leading halfway down the hall. The lantern shines on something with fur.

Ten lowers his gun, body going slack as he stares at the creature in front of them.

“. . . Bella?” he whispers. “No, _no._ ” He’s ready to rush out and confirm for himself, but Lucas holds out his arm, preventing Ten from going any further. He shakes his head and a tensed frown sits on his face.

“I think you should stay here. Hendery, come help me take a look.”

Ten doesn’t protest, body too shocked to do anything else, and watches as they head down the hall. He doesn’t know what they’ll do to her, but he catches bits of Lucas’ mumbles to Hendery. The words ‘ _potential exposure’_ and ‘ _disposal_ ’ drift along the walls.

Dispose of. Like she’s trash.

Ten can’t hold himself up any longer and stumbles over to the kitchen table to slump down in a chair. A gas mask left on the table glares back at him. Ten picks it up, grips it tight, then he flings it across the room. It bangs into the wall and onto the floor, still facing Ten.

When Lucas and Hendery return, Lucas turns to Hendery with a red, furious face. Ten reluctantly makes his way back to them.

“I knew we shouldn’t have taken you in,” Lucas spits out and Hendery flinches, looking between him and Ten in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“You! You were the one to drag Bella in here because there’s no way—“

Hendery scoffs loudly, eyebrows pinched. “Are you serious? I just helped you wheel that dog away and you’re really gonna accuse me? That was not me! I didn’t even know you had a fucking dog!”

That can’t be true. Ten or Lucas must have mentioned Bella at some point. “She ran away the night you tried to break in here,” Ten mutters. Hendery glances at him like Ten was blaming him, too.

“That long ago? Well, I’m sorry, but I didn’t do anything,” he says. “I was in my room the entire time until I heard Ten screaming his head off.”

Heat flares back up in Ten. “That’s not true! You weren’t in your room because I woke up there!”

The room backs down into silence and both Lucas and Hendery are eyeing Ten now. The anger inside Ten dwindles until it leaves only apprehension behind. Hendery’s the first to break up the quiet.

“Ten, what are you talking about?”

No way. There's no way Hendery’s going to play dumb about this and make Ten sound like he’s out of it.

“I don’t know how, but I woke up in your room and you weren’t there.”

“This is insane. I—I can’t believe you’re lying.”

“I’m _not_ lying, I know—“

“Ten.” Lucas’s voice startles both of them. He’s been staring at the ground since Ten and Hendery began their spat, but now he’s looking at Ten like he truly believes something is wrong with him. “You were in our room when you woke up screaming.”

Are both he and Hendery in on the same joke? No way, no way. Ten knows where he was. “That’s—that’s not right, I—“

“I think, for tonight, everyone should just stay in their rooms,” Lucas interrupts, looking away from Ten. “Hendery, you go back to yours. Ten, you can either take our room or the attic.”

A vein shows in Hendery’s neck as his jaw tightens, but he doesn’t argue back with Lucas. Ten waits for Lucas to say more, not believing his suggestion.

When Lucas gives him nothing, Ten asks, “Why? Do you, do you not believe me?”

If Lucas believed him he wouldn’t look so sorrowful. He wouldn’t think Ten is pitiful. There’s no comfort or trust in his expression as he continues speaking. “I believe something happened and we need to take precautions until we can figure something out.”

His words are final and Ten can’t find it in himself to try harder or plead with Lucas. Ten didn’t do anything. It wasn’t him. _Please, please don’t leave me alone._

Ten keeps his mouth shut and they go to their separate rooms. Ten takes the attic.

There’s not much in the attic, just storage of old stuff they never got around to sorting or throwing out. Ten finds a box that has one of Yangyang’s old childhood blankets in it, a thick dull thing that’s still soft. Ten stares at it until his face slowly crumples and he buries his face in it to muffle his sobs.

If Yangyang were here he’d believe Ten. He’d side with him. He’d be able to figure out what was happening because he’s always been a smart kid.

But he’s not here. He rotted away a long time ago, all alone, because Ten wasn’t there and Lucas let him die.

The attic door creaking stops Ten from spiraling further into his thoughts. Ten’s shoulders tense until he sees Hendery popping in.

“Why are you here?” he asks, voice tight. “Lucas will be mad.”

Hendery nods but he doesn’t leave, choosing instead to sit in front of Ten. Their knees touch and Ten can’t find it in himself to move away.

“I don’t care about Lucas being mad,” Hendery says quietly. “I only care about you.”

“You can’t say things like that,” Ten sputters, face burning hot. His hands clutch the blanket tighter and Hendery stares at them before gently clasping one hand with his own. His palm is smooth and cool against Ten’s, and Ten hates how calmer his nerves become.

“Why can’t I?” Hendery asks. “I do care about you. I care a lot and that’s why I’m here. I, I’m sorry for what happened downstairs and I’m sorry things have been hard for you, for everyone. “ He takes Ten’s other hand into his own and cradles them close to his chest. His heart thumps a gentle pattern against their hands. “I know Lucas doesn’t believe me, but please believe me when I say I wasn’t involved with what happened to the dog.”

 _What about you not being in your room? And me waking up there?_ Ten wants to ask, but the more he thinks about it the less sure of himself he is. He grips Hendery’s hands tight and bites down on his own lip, wishing he had the guts to bite hard enough to bleed.

“Okay,” he sighs, although the answer doesn’t settle quite right.

“Okay.” Hendery brings up their hands and kisses Ten’s knuckles, lips lingering long enough that Ten’s skin tingles and he can’t feel bad. He won’t feel bad. Lucas should be here comforting him but he’s not. “I also wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“What is it?”

“I’m gonna be blunt—we all know the only reason I’m even here is because you made Lucas let me stay,” Hendery says. “I think if you hadn’t been there, he would’ve killed me. Nothing I do will get him to trust me. But you know what? I don’t trust him either. I . . . don’t think I can stay here much longer. I’m honestly afraid to.”

The calm Ten thought he was finally going to have quickly dissipates. His hands hang loosely but Hendery continues to hold onto them. Hendery wants to leave. He’ll leave and Ten will just stay here in this house full of decaying memories until his and Lucas’ luck runs out.

Ten’s voice sounds far away, making it difficult to speak. “So, that’s it?” He doesn’t know where Hendery would go, but it must be better than staying here.

Hendery’s looking at him but Ten doesn’t want to meet his eyes. “Yes. And I want you to come with me.”

Ten’s head jerks up and he tugs his hands away from Hendery’s grip. He must have heard wrong. There’s no way Hendery said that.

“Don’t joke around like that.”

“I’m not! Ten, listen to me. I truly think something is wrong with Lucas. The things you’ve told me about Lucas don’t match up with the way he is now. And I know you’ve noticed how odd he’s been. I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve seen him outside at night just staring at nothing. Digging around. Mumbling about something. I think he had something to do with the dog, I’m worried he might hurt you, and I truly think Lucas might be sick.”

“He’s not.” Ten’s stomach lurches with a strong need to throw up. “Why the hell would you say that? He doesn’t have any of the symptoms.”

“Okay. Okay, fine, maybe he’s not sick, but Ten—“ Hendery cradles Ten’s face, thumb stroking his cheeks, and the sincerity in Hendery’s eyes conflicts Ten. He knows he should be wary. He knows he should be ashamed of himself.

But he can’t. He can’t look at Hendery and feel any of that.

“I think Lucas killed Yangyang intentionally and I think you believe that, too. Lucas will kill you if you stay here.” Hendery has been speaking quietly the entire time, but now his voice rises just some like he’s trying to make sure the words get through to Ten. “And he’ll kill me if I stay here. I don’t know when, but eventually, he’s going to decide something’s wrong. He’ll convince himself that you and I are affected, and he’ll kill us out of pity. I don’t want that.

“Just, please. Please come with me.” For the second time, Hendery kisses him, firm and desperate, like it’s all he has. “We’ll take the truck, just you and me. I’ve been snooping around Lucas’ books and I found a map. I know how to get back home to people who’ll help us. We’ll be safer there.”

“Home? What do you mean?”

A bright gleam appears in Hendery’s eyes; the amount of excitement in them startles Ten. “Remember what I said about the Sanctuaries? I didn’t tell you the whole truth because I was afraid. But the Sanctuary in Tainan is _real_. I’m from there.

“We had heard about some survivors down here so me and a group decided to try our luck searching for you all, but, ah . . . we ran into problems. And I couldn’t find my way back home, I ran out of supplies at my pathetic camp, so that’s why I ended up at your house.”

“Hendery, please.” This is too much, too unbelievable, and Ten fears Hendery is mocking him.

“I know it sounds outlandish and you might think you have no reason to trust me since I wasn’t honest from the start. But please, _please_ believe me. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t trust Lucas. I didn’t think it would matter since I wasn’t certain I’d be able to get home. But now I see a way out and I want you to come with me because I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.”

There’s nothing but desperation overflowing Hendery’s face now. Ten hasn’t seen Hendery cry since he’s been here, but Ten fears Hendery might start sobbing if he says no.

If this was a long time ago, Ten would have said for certain no to leaving. But things have been broken ever since Yangyang died, haven’t they? There was a time he and Lucas held so much hope that things would get better. And when things got worse they still held on because they had each other.

Some time ago, Ten knew for certain that Lucas loved him.

Maybe Ten should leave. He’s only been a burden to Lucas all this time. He’s not as resourceful or strong. He worries too much and lives in the past. He can’t get over his nightmares. Maybe Lucas will be happier and can finally find peace. It’s not because of Ten that Lucas has survived this long.

There’s no point in staying in this house when Ten will eventually die from the sickness, from Lucas, or his own hands.

Ten closes his eyes when Hendery kisses him.

“Please come with me. We’ll be happier together.” He kisses each promise onto Ten’s lips and then more. “I’ll give you the wedding and marriage you deserve.”

There’s no home for Ten here anymore. Just things that won’t go away.

Okay.

Okay.

Let’s leave.

Ten wonders if it’s a coping mechanism for his mind to block out the actions he’s doing. He remembers talking with Hendery and listening to him outline their plan. Morning arrives so quickly that Ten doesn’t know if he slept or not. Everything was a blur up until this moment.

Things don’t happen the way Hendery said they would. They were supposed to jam the lock to Lucas’ room to buy themselves enough time to escape with the truck.

Instead, Lucas is tied up on their bedroom floor while Hendery points a rifle at him. Ten lingers uselessly behind Hendery, finally waking up, finally catching up to what’s happening.

He wants to scream.

“Wha-what are you doing?” Ten exclaims, hands going to touch Hendery before he stops himself. The look on Hendery’s face chills him and Ten realizes it’s because it’s cold like Lucas’ had been toward Hendery at their first meeting.

Hendery holds nothing but hatred on him and it’s all directed at Lucas.

“ _Hendery_ ,” Ten sobs, vision blurring. “Stop, what are you doing? You didn’t say anything about this! You didn’t say you’d hurt him!”

“We have to think clearly. Can’t be dumb about it,” Hendery says, giving Ten an awful sense of deja vu. “Don’t you get it? He’ll only chase us if we try to leave and he’ll kill us once he catches us. He has to die, simple as that. It’s the only way we’ll truly be safe.”

What has he done?

“No, he won’t. He won’t do that.”

Ten, what have you done?

Hendery navigates his aim back and forth from Lucas’ head to his heart. There’s a hint of fear on Lucas’ face but it’s largely impassive like he doesn’t believe or care if Hendery shoots him.

When Lucas speaks to Ten, his voice is just as cold as Hendery’s. “You know where the guns are. Just grab one and shoot him. Grab one and do something! Can’t you tell he’s sick? That’s why he’s acting like this. He’s been carrying the virus inside him this whole time and now it’s coming out. We shouldn’t have brought him into the house.”

Hendery places his finger on the trigger as his eyes widen, face blooming red. “You’re the one who’s sick. Are you kidding me? You think no one noticed how deranged you’re slowly becoming? Ten, don’t believe him.”

It doesn’t make any sense. They both can’t be sick. This isn’t how the sickness looks. This can’t be happening. The collar of Ten’s shirt is now soaked with tears and he can’t do anything but be useless. He can’t help Lucas or Hendery. He couldn’t even help Yangyang.

Do something, Ten!

Do something.

_Do something._

“I can’t do this.” He crumples to his hands and knees, chest heaving as he tries to breathe. “I can’t, I can’t.”

The moment slows again and white noise replaces all the shouting and heated words. All sensation leaves Ten’s body as he feels himself detach and watch everything unravel like an outsider. He watches Hendery hesitate in his posture and turn to check on Ten. There’s a glint of silver from Lucas’ hands as he finishes secretly cutting the rope that binds him. No longer in his body, there’s nothing Ten can do or say to warn Hendery before Lucas slams into him and grabs the rifle.

A loud bang cuts through and Ten comes tumbling back into himself to see bright red blood splatter onto the ground, Lucas staggering back, and Hendery standing there, mortified like he can’t believe he did it.

Then Hendery pulls Ten up and runs out of the room, out of the house.

There’s blood on Hendery’s clothes that sprayed from Lucas. Lucas is bleeding. Lucas might be _dying—_

Ten tries to say Hendery’s name through the cotton crammed in his mouth, tries to tell him to stop, to slow down, the truck is over there, why are they running into the woods, where are they going?

Hendery looks back at him and Ten thinks he’s seeing him for the first time. Cracked lips, ashen skin with open sores. Ten sees himself reflecting in Hendery’s eyes, sees himself looking just the same.

Hendery smiles, and when another shot rings out, he drops Ten’s hand. Ten stands there as Hendery collapses a few feet away from a dug ditch. Blood further drenches his shirt. Ten doesn’t say anything.

The ditch looks like a grave.

He doesn’t move when Lucas comes shuffling beside him. He doesn’t close his eyes when Lucas aims his rifle at Hendery’s head.

“Gēge, play a game with me.”

“Hm? How’re we gonna do that? Your consoles don’t work anymore.”

“Not that kind of game. Here, lay down with me. I wanna play ‘What We Want to do When Things Are Better Again.’”

“Haha, how’s that a game?”

“Anything’s a game if you’re bored enough. Come on! You go first.”

“Let’s see . . . I wanna be able to breathe outside without feeling like I’m getting contaminated.”

“Wow, that’s not how you play. You can’t mention anything about that stuff, y’know.”

“Why don’t you go first instead?”

“Okay, when things are better I want us to go back to Hualien.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Remember that little cafe on the beach there that we went to? Let’s go there and buy out all their mango smoothies. And that ice cream shop owned by that grandma? Let’s eat there afterward and _then_ go swimming.”

“That sounds really fun, Yangyang.”

“I think it would be. So, do you understand now?”

“I get it. Honestly, I don’t really know. I think I’d just want to hang out with you anywhere.”

“You’re with me all the time now, though.”

“Yeah, but before all this, we didn’t hang out as much. You were busy with school and me with work and planning things out with Lucas. I just wanna hang out with you and have fun like we used to.”

“You’ve been getting sappier lately.”

“Have I?”

“Yeah, but that’s okay. I just wanna spend time with you, too.”

There’s blood seeping heavily into the bedsheets from Lucas’ wound, but at this point, no one cares. Ten clings to Lucas’ side, holding his hand tightly while resting his forehead on Lucas’ shoulder. Lucas can’t see his face; he doesn’t have any more energy to move, but he already knows what Ten looks like. Pallid skin with specks of blood around his mouth from how aggressive his coughs were. He’s quieted down some, breathing steady but faint, like their heartbeats.

The bedroom isn’t where Lucas originally planned for them to be. He had thought it would be better for them to disappear into the dirt, let them disintegrate quickly like they were never there, but at the last moment, he changed his mind. The walls will keep them covered instead.

Between their clasped hands they wear pale gold rings. Lucas wishes the windows weren’t boarded up so the sunlight could catch on the rings. He wishes he hadn’t kept them locked up out of sight in the attic for so long and had presented them to Ten as he should have.

“I’m sorry,” Lucas says, “for everything.” He doesn’t know how much of Ten is left to hear him, but he hopes Ten does. He tried hard to make things right again.

But that’s okay. It doesn’t matter anymore.

Lucas holds Ten and closes his eyes. He waits.

**Author's Note:**

> !! spoilers !!  
> \- sad ending  
> \- unintentional (?) gaslighting  
> \- past character death (yangyang)  
> \- ten seeing someone die  
> \- major character present death (hendery dies, and it can be interpreted that lucas and ten die as well)
> 
> if you feel this story has a lot of unanswered questions, it’s because it was 98% intentional and 2% accidental. 
> 
> please let me know what you think and what you thought was happening the whole time! i think there are a few ways to interpret this, but maybe that’s just me thinking too highly of my own story lol
> 
> ♡ [twt](http://twitter.com/popxtune)  
> ♡ [cc](http://curiouscat.qa/sprthouse)  
> ♡ [twt for this fic](https://twitter.com/sprthouse/status/1371249718148222982)


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